An Old Mystery Is Solved

The age old question of "Why did the chicken cross the road?" has been pondered by the greatest minds of not only history, but in all of humanity. A brief sampling of this plethora of insightful answers provided by the most brillaint of pontificionados is surely in order, and is a great way to practice one’s English.

The question, “Why did the chicken cross the road?” is the sixth oldest one in all of recorded human history, right after “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?” and “You want HALF, why?” | foto: Profimedia.cz

Question: "WHY did the chicken cross the road?"

Some true answers

The Pope: Only God really knows the answer to this question.

Bill Gates: We just released Microsoft Chicken Office 2008. Not only does it cross the road with record ease of use, but it also does your shopping for you, pays your credit card bills, and is compatible with Hotmail!

Czech politician: Because beer was over there, of course.

Buddha: To ask this question and obsess over the answer is to deny one’s future.

: If a chicken actually made it all the way across the road, this means that we missed one chicken and now we can’t sell it. Maybe Ole McDonald scooped ‘er up. Suffering succotash, what’ll happen next?

Karl Marx: It is a historical inevitability that the chicken working masses will some day cross the road on their march to pure socialism.

Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken really crossed the road depends strictly on one’s relative point of view.

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez: Bush is evil, read Noam Chomsky.

Heisenberg: It is possible that a chicken may have crossed this road.

Schroedinger: Not only did a chicken cross the road but my cat mostly likely chased it. Or perhaps not.

Grandpa: When I was your age, we had to walk five kilometers to see the chickens cross the road. You have no idea how lucky your generation is.

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Colonel Sanders of Kentucky Fried Chicken fame

Homer Simpson: Hmmmm, lunch.

Captain James T. Kirk: The chicken boldly went where no chicken had ever crossed before.

Steve Jobs: With our new iChicken, the road comes to you.

. Jokes of the Day: More Totally Useless Info

Sometimes, life’s greatest words of whizDumb are written on the walls of esteemed bathrooms everywhere where men and women have dutifully done their doodies.

Here are some real examples.

(Written in a men’s bathroom) "No wonder you’re still single."

(Written in a men’s bathroom) "If you leave now, you’ll go home alone."

(Written in a woman’s bathroom)

"To be or not to be." (Shakespeare)

"To do is to be." (Descartes)

"To be is to do." (Voltaire)

"Do be do be do." (Sinatra) "Yabba Dabba Doo!" (Fred Flintstone)

"How do you do? My name is Sue." (Johnny Cash)

"I do." (every woman)

"Half!" (every woman)

Angličtina vychází od pondělí do pátku.

Najdete ji také v bezplatném deníku Metropolitní expres.

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